Who Needs Love?
by Linxcat
Summary: ...I'm tired of love, Yeah, sick of love, I've taken more than enough...Pansy thinks on love...You said you might be late. You’re always late, that’s your prerogative...--Who Needs Love by Razorlight--


_Oooh__ darling who needs love? _

_Who needs a heaven up above? _

_Who needs the clouds, in the sky? _

_Not I._

I wasn't intending on waiting here for so long. The autumn wind is cold and harsh against my face, so I turn my collar up, wrapping my arms around myself. You said you'd be here by now...

_Oooh__ darling who needs the rain? _

_Who needs somebody that can feel your pain? _

_Who needs the disappointment of a telephone call? _

_Not I, no I don't need that at all, not I_

But you're not here. I rub my hands down my arms then dig my hands into my jacket pockets. You said you might be late. You're always late, that's your prerogative. You can do what you like to who you like, and we, the little pawns that fawn after your beautiful face, bend over backwards to your every whim.

_I'm tired of love, _

_Yeah, sick of love, _

_I've taken more than enough. _

I've been wanting, waiting to say this for so long. It kills me inside to even think about it. So I try not to. That's what I've always done – don't think, just do, then it doesn't hurt so much. Then **you** don't hurt so much. But it doesn't work now, not in this situation. Because you've always had a second chance. Not this time. Not again.

_Oooh__ darling who needs the night? _

_The sacred hours, the fading light. _

_Who needs the morning and the joy it brings? _

_Not I, I've got my mind on other things, not I._

And I remember those afternoons in the garden, mornings in potions, evenings in broom cupboards...I remember the looks on their faces – the jealous bints – as they see me with you. And I know that no one will ever compare to you. Sad, sad Pansy will never love again. Looks like I'm destined for loneliness.

_Oooh__ darling who needs joy? _

_Who needs a perfect girl or boy? _

_And who __needs to draw, that person near? _

_N__ot I__, b__ecause they always disappear, not I. _

I know what you will say: "It doesn't have to be this way, we can make it work, we've got this far," and I won't settle for it anymore. You can kiss me; tell me you love me as many times as you want, but I'm not going to fall in. We've been sneaking around too long and I can't do it anymore. Better to be a grieving old maid than a wasted, used plaything.

_And you know, I'm, tired of love _

_Yeah,_

_Yeah, _

_I'm sick of love, _

_Yeah, _

_You__ give me more than enough. _

_I'm gone! _

I wonder if I'll have the strength to say it when the time comes. I've said worse to you before – far worse. So why does this seem so big? If this isn't working, why is it so hard to let go? You have a wife and a son for Merlin's sake. You'll never be mine alone and it's eating me up inside. I'll never wear your ring, I'll never wake up beside you, I'll never have your children...I've got to get out before you destroy me completely.

_Oooh__ darling who needs love? _

_Who needs a heaven up above? _

_Who needs all the __arguments? _

_Who needs to be right? _

_N__ot I__, b__ut I just can't give up without a fight, not I._

I glance at my watch. You're late. You're always late. I'm sick of waiting and I'm sick of loving you. I'm sick of all this! Loving you so much is driving me insane. I'm going to cut my ties, cry my tears then escape to some hot country with white beaches. I'm going to be fine, as soon as I can get you out of my life. But I wonder, as I gaze down at my watch once more, if I can face life without you.

_No I just can't give up without a fight, not I. _

_No__ I just can't give up without a fight, not I. _

_No, __no, __no__ not I._

_Ooh no, __no,__ not I._

I can hear your feet approaching and I fight the feeling of dizziness as my heart begins to race. I spin round and see your pale face, still handsome after ten years of marriage to a woman you hate. And once again, I'm falling, and I hate it, but I can't help it. Your mouth turns up at the corners and I can't help but smile back. It's not the best what we have, but it'll do. It gets me through the day. I don't want to love you. I hate feeling like this. As I gaze up into your eyes, I know can't say what I've been wanting to say. But who needs love when I have you?


End file.
